Mr. Lemmon

Mr. Lemmon had a reputation for being awfully sour,
sneering at the world from his bitter ivory tower.

every week he would storm grumbling into village hall,
screaming that his neighbor's kids were always much too loud.
every single day he would patrol the empty streets and stores,
claiming that they're breeding grounds for teenage corner whores.

Mr. Lemmon had a reputation for being quite a twit,
although that's not the way the kids would put it.

every Sunday Mr. Lemmon brought up the gifts,
condemning with his eyes the congregation's sins.
every Monday he showed up at PTO,
cussing up a storm at the principle.

Mr. Lemmon was well known for having quite a temper,
the teenage girls would say that's why he's so protective of his cellar.

every Wednesday Mr. Lemmon appeared at the school,
telling kids to sit up straight and play by all the rules.
every Thursday Mr. Lemmon would make sure to return,
barging into to GSA shouting that the fags will burn.

Mr. Lemmon it was known would daily trim his hedge
then slap another coat upon his picket fence.

Every Tuesday he'd storm the public welfare office
telling all inside to buck up and get off it.
Every Friday he'd be absolutely nowhere to be seen
reappearing every saturday with cans of kerosene .

that is until last Saturday eve
when Mr. Lemmon stood outside his house
and watched it give to flames.

now he protests every week outside city hall,
wearing sporty t-shirts telling kids to fuck it all.
adults shake their heads as he walks around the school
kids passing by exclaiming, "damn that mother fucker's cool!"
the whole town knows he frequents the house south of the tracks,
and that each Thursday in GSA he's the only straight man.
nobody's seen him at the PTO since last year
about the time he lost his job and went on welfare.

the word's been around that the town's just going his way,
though it might just be one of those things that people say.